fuck

This is nothing sexy.i wish it was. after i post i think i might watch porn and play.

im too tired to write tonight. even though i know i should because i need to get all this shit out. thus why i started this thing in the first place. i hypothesize that-if i write enough i wont need to write as often. this seems to be the only way to deal right now.
everyone has times like these. times where its easier to feel but harder to deal.
im irritated with engagements for the sake of getting engaged because its the "stage".
im fustrated with people who think they know happiness. but im conflicted with the idea that to each is own. i just wish you would try something else to really know.
rewind 22 years or so. playing in that plastic doll house outside in my nonnas backyard, when everything about being grown up seemed so exciting and happy - lets have a tea party in there. i really want to. just me and you.

be blessed.